Drew Jones tried to win us a fridge at Home Depot, and instead we got a short, coughing, bald salesman who came to our house last night and effectively showed us how disgusting our water is.
I was annoyed, skeptical and feeling awkward about the whole thing. I know Columbus City water is gross. I know we are on the top 20 list of worst water in the U.S. But I choose to ignore the details, blissfully drinking straight out the tap. I sat quietly and listened, bracing myself for the sordid truth I didn't want to hear.
He dyed our water to show us all the sediment and arsenic lurking in it.
He dyed his purified water to show us how crystal clear and holy it is.
He told us how our water is corroding our water heater and giving me splint ends (I just got a trim thankyouverymuch). He explained that there is more chlorine in our water then what is necessary in a swimming pool.
With eyebrows raised and defenses high I scoffed. A swimming pool?! Those things reak with chlorine, you can smell is from a mile away!
Then he had us use his pure water to cleanse our palettes. He told us to take a few drinkes and deep breaths. I nudged Drew Jones and tried to make him laugh while he had water in his mouth. Success!
After we felt thouroughly cleansed he filled up a glass with our tap water and asked us to smell it...
Gingerly, we both sniffed
HOLY COW IT SMELLED LIKE A DIRTY POOL.
He then asked us to drink it. We both declined. But he insisted, so we did.
WHAT HAVE WE BEEN DRINKING?! GOOD GOD!!
So now, I'm horrified. I took a shower today and all I could think of was how my pores were sucking in copious amounts of chlorine like a sponge. Even my blackberry Anthropologie soap couldn't make me forget.
So, if anyone can think of a way to raise $5985 so I can take a shower and drink in peace let me know.
Have a great weekend. Drew Jones and I have some adventurous plans with friends I'm sure I'll be sharing about next week.