Big Shoes to Fill

{My Mom & I. Looks like I was around 4 or 5. So we're talking cirque 1987ish}

My Mom sent me a note in the mail the other day. She had come for a short visit last weekend and we realized when she was leaving that it was probably the last time she would see me with this baby boy inside. The next time we meet I'll most likely be a Mama myself.


I got a note from her in the mail a few days later and in it she wrote how more than me going to college or getting married, leaving me this time felt as if she was saying goodbye to her little girl. Of course I'm crying right now writing this because that feels so true to me as well.


She also wrote, "sometimes I am sad at how quickly your childhood passed by. I truly miss every moment of it."


I've been thinking about that everyday since I read it. I know that she means it. I know for certain that my Mom LOVES being a Mom and LOVED being a Mom to her two little girls. I don't remember any time in my childhood of feeling like a burden to my Mom, like a stress or an annoyance. I don't remember a time of her being cruel or mean to me. What I always felt is wanted, cared for, precious, protected and very very important to her. 


I don't take this lightly as an adult who has now glimpsed others childhood memories of pain or feeling inadequate or unloved by one or both parents.


Today my Mom talks about our childhood with a lot of joy. Never comments about how hard it was to raise us girls or how crazy we were. Most people talk like that about raising their children and while I don't necessarily find anything wrong with it (as raising kids I'm sure is hard and they can be crazy) I am glad my Mom speaks positively and lovingly about us. My Dad was very busy while we were growing up and so my Mom bore the responsibility of the diapers, the feeding, the disciplining, the tucking in, the potty training, all of it. I am convinced that she loved it all. She has always made me feel like it was a privilege of hers to do all of those things and so very much more. And now that I see my friends raising children and I see the reality of how hard it can really be, I realize how incredibly amazing my Mom is for seeing the joy in every little bit of our childhood and always conveying to us through her words and actions that being our Mom is a gift she will always cherish and enjoy. 


When you see someone in a career or a job that seems made for them and you see them filled with extreme pride and love in it, you can't help but be inspired. Growing up as my Mom's daughter has inspired me to want to be a fantastic Mom. I know I will be different than her, and I cannot help but assume that I will not do as well as she did (I mean she literally has NEVER complained about delivering a 10 lb 2 ounce baby (me) naturally...never said an ill word about it) but I hope that who I am, who God created and she raised me to be is what our children need. What this baby needs. I pray often that God will show Drew Jones and I the ways our child needs to be loved and brought up and cared for.


Everyone says it goes fast, and I know it won't be any different for us. So I want to remember my Mom's words about truly missing every moment when the times are peaceful and wonderful and when they are difficult. I want to soak them up, be present and appreciate.


I want more than anything to do this precious God given job well. 


It is in fact, my dream job, and it starts any day now.

37 weeks

I had my 37 week check up with my midwife yesterday.
All is well and I am very thankful.
His heartbeat it strong and healthy and his movements are regular.


I told the midwife how I had a strong contraction that woke me up Sunday night and it made me scared for the real thing.She empathized and told me to do the best I could to get over the fear.


So after our labor classes last night I told Drew Jones that I have to come up with a new mantra. Instead of repeating over and over to myself how scared of the unknown and pain I am...I need something else.


Got any ideas? 


Drew Jones of course came up with some that made me laugh. Like "Whoomp there is it" Not really, but it was something like that. Pregnant brain can't quite remember.






And now the 2nd half of this blog is rated PG for extreme midriff nudity:

Whoomp there it is.

Bloggers Block

Hello. 

Let me be honest with you,

I have bloggers block.

I don't know, but I think it may have something to do with being 37 weeks pregnant.

My mind feels floaty and simple. My vocabulary seems to have shrunk and my communication skills are on ice. Proof of this: it took me 6 minutes to write those last two sentences. And I used the word "floaty". Is that really a word? I don't know.

So, I will write when I can. I will take and post photos when the mood strikes. But this may be patchy in the coming weeks because I've decided to be selfish and take the time I need to just be still. And instead of feeling pressure to do or create or keep up or update I am going to just waddle around my life enjoying all the joy and even the discomfort that comes with being so ripe with pregnancy. And boy am I ripe.

I'll post a photo tomorrow of that.

:)

A sweet little video

This. is. adorable.



Enough to make a pregnant lady tear up.


Came across it on this blog.

3 years of the good life.

Tuesday was Drew Jones' and my 3rd Wedding Anniversary. 


We had a nice day together.


We listened to the baby's heartbeat.


Walked around Target laughing.


Ate a delicious lunch at Mimi's in the love booth.


It was a simple good day. It really was a mirror of what our lives are together. We don't have fancy things and can't take fancy trips or do expensive activities right now in our lives. But it doesn't matter, because we have each other.  And really there is nothing better than that. 


Happy Anniversary to us! 


Drew Jones, you are the gold in my treasure chest, the sprinkles on my donut, the song in my heart.


I love you so very much.

Our Boy

I'm so glad they make cute clothes for boys too: 

When I showed these to Drew Jones he said he wanted them in his size too. Which made me picture Drew Jones in an adult sized chambray onesie walking around.

Your picturing it now aren't you?

Haha. (sorry Drew) 

I love baby clothes that look like miniature versions of adult clothes. They are my favorite.

The chambray onesie & houndstooth pants are from the Gap

The deck shoes are from Old Navy.

Both are having a sale where you can get 30% off while donating 5% of your purchase to a charity.

If you want the code email me and I will forward you the coupon.

candisljones@yahoo.com

P.S. I originally saw the pants on the blog, e tells tales, which is super cute. I check it every day. :)

Lady Things

Did you watch the Bachelor this season? 

If so in the last episode Monday night did you see poor Emily wearing JUST A SHIRT on a outdoor date where the wind was GUSTING? 

I felt like I was watching one of my nightmares where I show up to some important event wearing only a shirt.

Except she really lived it.

On national TV.

No pants.

I felt bad for her. Here is a photo of her desperately trying to keep it from flying up and showing the world her lady things.

It's okay Emily. One time, on our honeymoon, Drew Jones and I were called on stage for a cheesy dance contest in front of all the guests at the resort. I told him not to try to lift me up for a certain move because my dress was too short and my underwear were not hiding a whole lot.

Guess who picked me up?

We won the contest. (by an overwhelming audience round of a applause.)

It wasn't worth it.

The Daddy

If Drew Jones has anything to do with it, I'm pretty sure our baby will be coming home from the hospital in this:

I came across it at the store this weekend and knew Drew Jones would go crazy about it.

He did.

It came in a pack of 3 with different patterns.

Plus I got the matching bibs.

:) 

Drew Jones LOVES batman. 

I love that a guy with such cool hair and good taste in jeans has this completely nerdy comic book loving side.

There is no other person I would rather raise a child with. He is going to be the kind of Dad everyone wants.

Loving and encouraging. Present and strong.

At first, before we knew what we were having I was nervous about having a boy. 

Extra parts I don't have, 

games I don't know how to play, 

toy aisles I've never ventured down.

But then I thought, wait a minute, I'm married to Drew Jones. 

That guy is going to be a GREAT Dad and know just what to do with a boy. And since that thought, I've not been nervous at all.

Boys need good Dads. 

This boy is going to have the best.

Love you Drew.

And your cool hair.

35 weeks

Have you been wondering what's going on with our nursery?

Well, it shouldn't be long now before I have some photos to share.

It's been slow going but we are close to being finished. 

The changing table that we want is out of stock, but will be back in stock the beginning of April. Whew!

The crib is up and the dresser (which is vintage from Drew Jones' childhood)is in place and full of clothes and diapers.

Drew Jones hung up a fabulous painting last week he did. 

Curtains are going up soon. 

And we have an amazing blanket my Mom made and a big blue floor poof our friend Ciara made that add so much character to the room.

With all the color and pattern that is layered around, surprisingly the vibe remains serene in the room. I feel God's peace in there and sometimes will just go sit in the chair and enjoy it.

Excited for it to be complete and to share it with you.

Can you feel it?

March in Ohio is fickle. 
Raining for days and days. 
Then snowing and cold. 
Then sunny and 50 degrees. 
All in the matter of one week. 


On Saturday we got the sunny and 50's. A nice reminder that spring is on it's way.


I took the dogs outside to run and play in the sun. It's so cute how the wind blows Scout's ears around and how she closes her eyes and sniffs the air.


I am anticipating spring with hope.
New season.
New beginnings.
New life.

It's Monday and that means I'm on Love Everywhere. Come on over. :)

34 weeks

Last night as Drew Jones and I lay down to sleep the baby was booting and kicking with gusto as usual, so I asked Drew if he would like to feel. He reached out his hand in the dark and I put it in perfect position.


The baby banged and kicked and pushed against his hand and Drew Jones says, 


"Wow, does he do this every night?"


"Yes."


And then silence, because sometimes married people don't need to talk to know what each other is thinking.

One

Today is Scout's 1st Birthday! 

I pulled her up on my lap and told her that her Doggie Mom gave birth to her and 8 weeks later we found her and brought her home.

She licked my ear and squirmed to get down and 

wrestle with Rzeznik.

Happy Birthday Scout!

Stay sassy.

{By the way, I wrote another post for Love Everywhere today. Go here to read.}

Sleepover for the Birthday Girl

Scout turns one this week. Drew Jones and I have been talking about it wistfully, sad that our baby pup is turning into a real dog. We will say things to her like "Did you know it's your birthday soon Scout? You're going to be a real dog!" and she just looks at us not having a clue what we're talking about.


She has started the transition from puppy food to adult food this week and has been extra sassy lately. Barking at every little noise, acting like she isn't potty trained, rebelling like a preteen.


Thankfully, her best bud Rzeznik (my Mom's dog) is staying with us for a little while. We are hoping his sweet, obedient temperament rubs off on our little headstrong lady. She is SO excited about him being here. She licks his face and they wrestle all day long. They wear each other out. 


Here's some photos of them last night. We were all very sleepy.

33 weeks

Nowadays it is not just a quick kick I see and feel, my entire belly moves and shivers. As I watch it I can visualize what he looks like in there. Shifting, kicking, rolling. Sometimes he will stretch a foot or hand out and press it against my belly and leave it there for awhile. He also gets hiccups often and I always feel bad for him because I hate having the hiccups.


I have been pretty tired this week which is why I haven't posted much. I can't believe I will be having a baby next month. Time is flying.