Westley 4 weeks old
"Remember when between the hours of 6 and 9 I would have to put Westley in the stroller and roll him through the living room and kitchen to get him to sleep?"
or
"Remember when we went to Val's wedding in Cincinatti and we tried to go to a restaurant after the ceremony and we had to leave before we even ordered drinks because Westley was wailing and people were staring?"
or
"Remember when we took Westley with us to see that awful movie Larry Crowne and I stood in the back of the theater bouncing him the whole time. We were crazy!"
Just the other day we were at Westley's 8 month check up and there was a newborn in the room next to us wailing.
"Remember when that was us?" I said to Drew.
He raised his eyebrows and nods, "I don't miss that."
"No that was a stressful part." I say.
I never admited it (until now) on this blog, but Westley had colic when he was a little little. It took me a long time to admit it to myself because:
a. I didn't really know that all babies didn't cry all.the.time. Because he is my first. I do remember however asking my Mom when she was visiting once, "Is this normal? Did I cry like this?" and she looked at me with scrunched eyebrows and shook her head. She didn't say anything though, I think because she didn't want to scare me and my hormones.
b. Westley was a good baby, no matter if he cried all the time or not. And I didn't want people to hear colic and think of him as "bad". All babies are good. All of them.
So the truth is, he cried most of the day for the first few months and much to the dismay of my aching post partum woman parts I would walk briskly around the house jostling, shushing, bouncing, singing and swinging him for hours and hours.
Now that he is 8 months old and so sweet, easy going and good-natured I look back on those days and really think colic must have really really sucked for him. He isn't one to cry or fuss unless something is REALLY wrong, so whatever colic actually is must of felt pretty bad. Poor baby. I'm glad he won't remember one bit of it. And even though it wasn't easy, I still remember those days as some of the very best of my life to date. He has always had my heart since the moment I laid eyes on him and I truly believe that the hard times of colic just bonded us even more and gave me confidence as his Mama. I hope it had a similar effect for him, confidence that his Mama will always always be there for him, that she'll always be a source of comfort and he can trust her completely.
Westley & me - 7 weeks old
I so LOVE this post. I reflect back on all those earlier tough moments and think how blissful things are now that we have a routine. I love Westley's vlog! too cute!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to stop by and say thank you for entering my giveaway over at Bridget's blog! Hope you're the big winner :) Happy new year!
Thank you for sharing this. I am sure there are many new mamas out there that are struggling and will appreciate that someone can relate.
ReplyDeleteIt must have taken incredible patience to handle hearing him cry/ be in pain.
I am sure that Westley will always look at you as his soft place to fall.
Both of mine had colic and that really is the hard part. Dave and I would take turns playing pass the baby every night. Some nights it was so bad, I'd get in a warm bathtub with them for an hour, it was the only thing that would stop the screaming. I don't miss those days at all! They both turned out to be really really good babies.
ReplyDeleteI want to be the kind of mama you are to Westley. Willing to walk and bounce and jostle even when your lady parts hurt.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are right, he's such a good baby.
Oh colic. Even now it stresses me out when someone asks if Waylon is a good baby.
ReplyDeleteYou are a good mama. He's a lucky boy.
PS: That picture of Westley at 4 weeks old tugged on my ovaries a little. Oops.
Candis,, this is a really encouraging post. Since becoming a mother, I find myself often wondering about the intricacies of other's experiences: Does her baby cry a lot? How do they eat dinner with a fussy baby? What do they do all day? Does that toddler throw fits?
ReplyDeleteFor all the details we share, there's still a lot of vagueness, about sleep patterns and crying and changed relationships. I think it can make some (me) feel insecure. Babies are sweet and wonderful and I love mine so much. But it is hard in so many ways.
kendra - I am so hoping I WIN TOO! crossing my fingers and thanks for the sweet comment. :)
ReplyDeletebrhea - yes, it did take patience, but most of the time it felt God given and no strength of mine at all. I know that sounds all mush and weird but it's true.
michelle - the warm bath always helped us too, and loud loud white noise!
kate - every pic you post of waylon has my ovaries pitching fits.
erin - you are right, there is a vagueness isn't there? Give me inspiration to write more on these topics.
sweetest. it gave me the chills. so did that last pic of the two of you.
ReplyDeletei have those sorts of conversations with steve too. parker didn't have colic, but there were just so many unknowns, ya know? like was his poop the right shade of yellow, was he eating enough, getting chunky enough, was he sleeping enough, should i do this, should i do that?
now, there's still some of that, but i feel way more laid back about it all. it's nice.
love seeing you blogging again :) even if you're still spotty, i'm liking it.
This brought me back to the day I took Everett to the doctor and promised myself I wouldn't admit to him how much my baby was crying.
ReplyDeleteWhy not?
Like I was a bad mom if my baby cried.
Like Everett was a bad baby if the truth got out.
But it was like the doctor could smell it on me. In a few questions, he knew and said it out loud and I was released.
Man, please God do not let any of my other children have colic. Like you said, it was hard on me, but what about for Everett? Horrible.
I love this post. :) My husband and I are in the "talking about talking about it" stage of wanting babies. I simply love the way you addressed his colic. "All babies are good. All of them." What a wonderful, positive way to view parenthood.
ReplyDeleteI've been missing your blogging!
Girl, I know how you feel. I thought all babies cried that much so I didn't think anything of it in the beginning. Then when I finally got confirmation from my doctor, it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.
ReplyDeleteSomeone once told me that colic babies are the most sensitive, caring adults and I believe that is true. They have felt things so intensely since they were born, how could they not be? I find great comfort in that. Hugs to you mama.
Yikes I couldn't imagine having a crying baby all day that couldn't be soothed without a ton of effort. It's nice that he's in such a good place now. I'm looking at his 7 month pics and he looks the same size as my girls now lol!
ReplyDeleteokay i meant 7 week old pics oops!
ReplyDeleteah, the stigma of colic. I didn't want to tell anyone that Behr cried. and then broke down and told my church moms group {as they were cooing over how good Behr was} that I was miserable, and Behr would cry for hours, that it was terrible...
ReplyDeleteand then this group of moms looked at me with compassionate eyes that told me that many of them had been there. that it was an unfortunate "normal." that neither Behr nor I were to blame.
I want all new moms to be greeted with such great compassion. To be reassured that crying babies aren't bad babies.
This post was beautiful Candis. You hit the nail on the head.